January 15, 2002
Editors Note
Jim K.
As I said in my first editorial for this newsletter, we will publish what we have. And what we have right now is not a lot. So this abbreviated version of the Check-In is where we are. This time there are no movie reviews or book reviews or cartoons, I don't know who provided those in the past. I would like to see the eight pages we used to do but the material isn't there, where is your input?
"Forgiveness" Works
By: Mike C.
One nice thing about choosing the retreat theme "forgiveness" is that if anything goes wrong, people feel obligated to be understanding and forgiving rather than being hostile or cruel. Of course, the seventh annual IISAA fall retreat was well received and there were only minor flaws to be forgiven
A crisp, autumn weekend provided the setting at Camp Pyoca for a record setting 46 attendees to explore forgiveness and its role in addiction and recovery.
Presentations ranged from sessions on the psychological aspects of resentment to the theological call for forgiving one another.
Some chose to stretch their bodies through yoga, some chose to stretch a fishing line, some chose to stretch their legs along the forest trails. Everyone opted to stretch their desire for recovery by opening themselves to a variety of viewpoints on the theme of forgiveness.
There was more information along with a greater variety of approaches to the topic than any one person might absorb or appreciate, however, substantial time was allowed for sharing one's own experience, strength, and hope and, as at each of our retreats, the participants were encouraged to "take what you need and leave the rest."
Comments on the evaluation forms suggested that everyone found value in the weekend's offerings. Every aspect of the retreat scored an approval rating of between 89% and 96%. A theme emerged from the same forms for next year's gathering. The 2002 retreat will focus on the 11th step, "Sought through prayer and meditation . . . ." Chris C. and Jim K. have offered to coordinate the program. Andy F. and Ken S. will take charge of the kitchen.
When we return to Camp Pyoca during the weekend of October 25 - 27, 2002, we will have two new modern cabins (a 24-person and a 48-person) for our use. In addition to providing more couple's rooms, there will also be three new meeting rooms at our disposal. A new, covered shelter and a second fire pit are also being added. Thanks are due to a higher power that has blessed us with such an ideal setting for our recovery retreats.
The retreat also resulted in a donation of leftover food to the Wheeler Mission in Indianapolis, a profit of over $400 to help fund future IISAA special events, and enough thought provoking, recovery building, spirit healing moments to make all of our efforts worthwhile.
If you have never attended one of our recovery retreats, please plan to join us in 2002. If you have enjoyed a recovery-oriented weekend with us in the past, why not re-treat yourself to that experience next year. In the meantime, pray and meditate on that possibility.
Spring 2002 Workshop
Indiana Intergroup of SAA is seeking a volunteer to chair the committee for our spring workshop which is normally held the first weekend in May. A location will also have to be obtained. Contact Rick T. (Phone 317-858-1286).
Kinsey Institute Study
A Kinsey Institute Study Volunteers on Sexual Addiction and Compulsive Sexual Behavior is seeking volunteers. Interested parties will be interviewed for approximately one hour, and fill out seven questionnaires taking approximately 20 minutes. Volunteers who complete the program will be compensated $40 for their time, those who complete the interview portion only will receive $30. Handouts were made available to take back to the meetings calling for volunteers. If you have questions contact Dr. John Bancroft at 812-855-7686, or E-Mail him at jbancrof@indiana.edu
Things That Need Doing
This is a "We" program, but step 12 work takes a "me" commitment, and here are a few of the things "We" need some "Me's" to do
We need somebody to chair the 2002 Spring Workshop, if you are the one, contact Rick T. at (317) 858-1286.
We need somebody to set up the 2002 Picnic, if this is yours contact your IISAA rep and let them know you are ready to step into leadership.
There are many other opportunities for service in this fellowship. Including the idea you just had for this or that that needs doing. Talk to your IISAA rep at your next meeting and find out what resources are available to you and get started today. Whatever it is is not going to happen without your involvement and commitment.
LIFELINE PARTNERS
By: Richard S.
Lifeline Partners is a fund raising program that allows any member of the Sex Addicts Anonymous Fellowship to make a regular monthly monetary pledge to the International Service Organization. Your pledge can be placed into the General Fund, or if you wish to support a specific service that is provided by the ISO you can specify that in your donation. There are many worthwhile programs that can use your financial support. The Plain Brown Rapper, the Public Service Announcement, the Basic Text (our Big Book), that is being written by Jeff W. and Pat C. or any other Outreach program that you feel a special need to support. Contributions made be made by check, American Express, Discover, MasterCard, or automatic checking account withdrawal. The amount of the monthly donation is entirely up to you and, hey, it's tax deductible.
If you have had an opportunity to read the latest copy of the Plain Brown Rapper, you know that it was necessary to use funds from the Operational Reserve to alleviate a prolonged cash flow problem in the checking account. Certainly, the ISO is doing the best work possible with the money it has, but it can always use more. In addition, more funds will be necessary to assist the Literature Committee in it's work of getting the first edition of the Basic Text ready.
0n The Subject of Tokens
By :Richard S
The dictionary defines a token as a visible sign or indication; tangible proof or evidence; a keepsake or souvenir; a piece of metal having a face value greater than its actual value. All of these definitions define to me the token that I receive at a meeting. Usually for time in the program, but just as importantly, clean time from a particular acting out behavior. When I came into the program I had more acting out behaviors than I had fingers and toes. To receive a token for each of these at the various clean time achievements meant I would have had enough weight to drown me had I fallen into a pond. As I learned more about recovery I recognized my bottom line or inner circle behaviors, were the base addictive behaviors that were going to take the hardest work. However, it was important for me to continue to receive my token because it was tangible proof that I was in a program of recovery and every time I reached into my pocket for change, it was there with me.
I know there are those in this program who take a token only for clean time or sobriety from their acting out behaviors. It is wonderful that they have been able to achieve that level of recovery. But for me, it is important to honor the time that I have been in this program. The token I receive won't buy me a loaf of bread or a glass of milk, the satisfaction that I receive from it has far greater value to me than either of them.
A Focus
Jim K's Bovine Scatology
The toughest times of my life are those moments when I loose my focus on recovery. Every time I have "slipped" it has been because I have lost my focus on my recovery and the process it provides. It is maintaining my focus on recovery that keeps that keeps me clean.
It seems to make little difference weather I am working on a specific step or simply reviewing the process, the idea is to keep the steps on the "front burner".
If I am working on a single step, I have to keep at least a part of my focus on the big picture. Reminding myself that recovery is a process and that what I am after is progress, not perfection. Step 1 and step 4 were particularly hard for me in that regard. I could get so wrapped up in my guilt and shame that recovery was out of reach. I could fall into believing that I did not deserve recovery.
Too hard a focus on step 3 or step 7 can lead me to make the whole thing my Higher Powers responsibility. That guarantees that I will act out again. After all, if I have turned it over to my Higher Power, and I have asked my Higher Power to remove the defect that caused the problem in the first place then I no longer have to be concerned with this program. Right?
So one of the things I use to help me keep the process in perspective is to I read the steps once a day. I just read them through and go on with my day. For me, this brakes the "Target Fixation" and helps me to remember this program is a process, the goal is progress.
I need to say a word here about what I mean by "progress not perfection". I have used that phrase to give myself permission to act out, after all, if I used to masturbate 3 times a day and now I only do it once a day that's progress isn't it. Yes, but it is still acting out for me. It isn't recovery. Recovery requires 3 things; don't act out, go to meetings, and ask for help.
Progress in this context means cleaning up those "defects of character" that led to my addictive behaviors. It means unloading the anger in healthy ways. It means facing the pain rather than hiding behind it and using the addiction to escape from it.
I may never achieve perfection, but I will never stop working to get there, and I will never stop asking my Higher Power for the tools and the willingness to do the work one day at a time. And one of the tools is to keep my focus on the big picture.
final note:
This is your newsletter we need your thoughts, your "experience strength and hope".
Have you read a good recovery book lately? Send us a book review, just a paragraph or two that says what the book is about and how it was useful to you. Nothing fancy and we promise it will not come back with a bunch of red marks and a grade.
Dig through your journal and pull out the piece you wrote about step 6 last year. It is the thing that is going to help the newcomer work through an issue.
This is our newsletter, having it is worth stepping through our fears