Retreat Steps to Inspiration

It seems that every year's retreat is unique in its offering of fun, fellowship, education and spirituality. The 4th Annual 1998 IISAA Fall Retreat was no exception.

The retreat, held within the Presbyterian PYOCA campground, was magically serene. With its isolated locale, heavily wooded hills, placid lake, rustic cabins and the majestic lodge, the site proved ideal. The theme centered around the "Power of the First Seven Steps".

Friday night proved great with all participating in an entertaining introductory interaction game. Later, everyone settled down for the first session to discuss and meditate upon their first steps. At bedtime, the soft patter of raindrops upon the tin roofs were more than enough to lullaby this weary camper. It was difficult for deep slumber though with the walnuts and acorns falling on the roof throughout the night.

One of the unique features of this retreat was its allowance for less structure and more spontaneous interaction among its participants. There was a lot more "free time" to take a walk, sit by the fireplace and read, share your recovery with another or grab a pole and go fishing. For me, this type of retreat was just what I needed. Of all the session presented, my favorites were the Step One and Step Four sessions. During Step One we divided into small, intimate groups and shared our "stories." The Step Four session provided for an enormously heartfelt discussion about working an honest program. The Saturday night "furry friends" campfire was great. The experience of hearing the loving words of those gathered around the circle was as warm and nurturing as the campfire itself.

One of the major changes most 1997 campers indicated for 1998 was an improvement in food quality. There was certainly an improvement this year. The pizzas served at Friday night's supper were never more delicious. Saturday and Sunday mornings brought the aroma of freshly perked coffee and hot, delicious egg casseroles wafting through the dining room. Lunch on Saturday was a smorgasbord of cold cuts, cheeses, fruits and homemade vegetarian soup. There were ample supplies of wieners, sausages and, of course, Smores for Saturday night's roast around the campfire. Even the snack table was notably fuller of healthier foods.

Appreciation goes to Ken S. for his hard work developing and overseeing this year's retreat. Mike C. and Dick F. are praiseworthy for preparing and serving the nutritious and tasty meals. Thanks go to Morris for sharing his fishing gear and for leading a hearty band of fishers through the therapeutic fishing session. (Note: Nearly forty fish made for a pleasing late Saturday night fish fry.) Thanks to all who stayed behind after the closing session and assisted with "cleanup" of the cabins and lodge. Good cheer to those travelers who journeyed from distant parts of Indiana and other states. Your love and support are immeasurable.

Campers, mark your calendars! Next year the 5th Annual Retreat will be at Camp PYOCA over the Halloween weekend. Plans are being drawn for the best event yet. Details will be forthcoming. See you there!

- - - Bill S.

From the Editor . . .

Hello SAA members!

There were times in my pre-recovery life when I chose my personal battles to fight.  More often than not I chose not to engage in battle at all but rather run like a coward for safety under the cover of sex addiction. The Steps changed that.  Now battles are chosen for me and there is no escaping the personal responsibility to stand and fight.  Compulsive addictive behavior is not a shelter anymore.  It never was.  I only imagined it so.

The good news is there is plenty of  support for any one wanting to win their war against sex addiction.  As in any conflict, we do better when we have comrades-in-arms who understand and share our conflicts.

There are many who understand our clashes and are  waiting to help.  Fellow SAA members, family members and friendly allies of this program are everywhere. The secret is in finding them and reaching out..

Let’s be brave and strengthen our resources.  Let’s ask and receive from others in this battle against compulsive sexual behavior.  It’s the right thing to do.

Love and Peace,
Bill S., Editor
 

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TELEPHONE LINE REWIRED

The Telephone Information Committee gathered at Mike C’s house on 9/12/98 and initiated plans to streamline the effectiveness of the service.  Among the goals:

· Committee Chair to present a quarterly activity report to the Board.
· Women SAA members will be encouraged  to field calls as necessary.
· Maintain better control over long distance credit cards.
· Revise resource lists including interfellowship groups and recommended literature.
· Encourage better communication among the committee’s volunteers.
· Send out the word for more telephone line service workers.

OFFICE VACATED

Don S. resigned his position as Vice-Chairman.   He will continue the large amount of service work he does for the Anderson SAA groups.  His contributions as a Board member will be missed.

HOLIDAY CELEBRATION

All members of SAA and CoSA and a guest are invited to the 7th IISAA Annual Holiday Celebration set for Saturday,  December 12, 1998,  7:00 p.m.  at the Hermitage Retreat Center,  3650 E. 46th St.,  Indianapolis.  You are encouraged to bring your favorite holiday dish and/or a dessert to share.   Meats, drinks and utensils will be provided.  Please R.S.V.P. by  December 1, 1998.  Contact: Your Intergroup representative or Bill S. at (317) 545-9783 or iisaa@noldo.pair.com.  (Note: This particular celebration is set aside for adults only).

AIDS WALK

The Indiana Care’s 5 km Walk to raise money for AIDS research was a big success and we were there.  This year marked the 4th year we have been a part of the Health Fair at this event.  We had a nice table display with information about sex addiction recovery.  Scores of in-formation packets were picked up and many stopped to ask questions about sex addiction and recovery.

SPRING EVENT NEARS

The 4th Annual 1999 IISAA Spring Workshop will be held on Saturday, May 1, 1999 at Christ United Methodist Church in Indianapolis.  A committee has formed to begin the process.  The tentative theme for the one day affair is "Shame and Recovery".  Volunteers are needed for this inspirational event.  Notify your group’s representative or this newsletter if you can help.

Risking ridicule, rejection, or loss,
intimacy closes all the back doors,
seeking the warmth of caring for another,
true closeness in realms emotive.

     To be intimate, one form of love , is a skill
     learned from childhood models,
    to listen attentive, familiar without contempt,
    expressive of needs and wants.

Blocked by dishonesty and any addiction,
resentment or wrongs un-amended,
unresolved grief of painful losses,
memories unforgiven, not let go.

    More a friend than being dependent,
    less than honest need not apply,
    more intuitive than head-driven,
    not taking part won’t fly.

Though fear tries to trip the circuit breaker
designed to avoid any pain,
intimates have enough faith to risk a bared heart
 within jaws gaping with potential.

    Willing to chance revealing the inner self,
    with courage to disclose fully now
    even those worrisome thoughts
    those feelings feared negative.

When now able to give, receive, accept flaws,
open after shedding the barriers,
able to reflect with peace at pause,
what remains are one’s lover’s fears.

               --- Rich W.

IISAA is encouraging all Indiana groups to officially register with the ISO of NSO in Houston.   This is a yearly requirement and needs to be done before February 1, 1999.  This registration is essential for ISO to keep an undated membership census. Forms will be distributed to all member groups at the November intergroup meeting.

DIRECTORY INFO

The Saturday night meeting  has disbanded. This meeting, held at Winona Hospital,  was among the first three meetings to be established in Indianapolis in the early 1980’s.  At this time, no plans are in sight for another Saturday meeting.  Contact Chris C. at (317) 545-9783

There is now an afternoon meeting at St. Lukes at 86th and Meridian Streets from 4:30 - 5:30. Also, at St. Lukes, there is an ongoing Wednesday Night 12-Step Workshop. You may contact Richard S. at (317)545-9783 for more information.

YOUTH OUTREACH ADDS AN "R"

The developing rescue program for sexually addicted youth of Indiana has added changed it’s name to more clearly identify itself from any similar programs.  It will be known as Adolescents in Sexual Addiction Recovery (ADOLESAR).  Volunteers are needed to the foundation for this pioneering outreach effort.

REVISION OF BYLAWS IMMINENT

The first major changes to IISAA’s Bylaws is under consideration by its member groups.  Among the changes are modification of references to SAA, inclusion of provisions for a Literature Representative, some banking changes,  changes reflecting the NSO’s move to ISO status and a few rearrangements of items.  For a copy of the proposed revisions see your intergroup rep.  Your ideas regarding these changes are appreciated.

Sometimes I feel like
I’ve been here before.
A strange recollection
That I’ve walked on this shore.

My feet in the sand.
My face in the sun.
The water on my skin.
The salt on my tongue.

But this feeling is strange
Like I’m wandering a maze
I’m feeling confused.
Lost in my past ways.

  So lift me up
  and take me over.
  Take my away from
  What I have known.
  Hold my hand and
  Kiss my lips.
  Let my know that
  I’m never alone.

Sometimes I feel like
I’ve done this before.
I tell myself stop
and then come back for more.

I keep feeling these feelings
Staying in this mood
tasting this drug
Devouring its as food.

    Sometimes I feel like
    I’m never alone.
    I pray for peace.
    I pray for a home.

    Now this feeling is love.
    It breaks down this maze.
    Each step is so freeing
    and I’m never alone these days.

             - - - C. Dana S.

May those who love us, love us
And for those that don't, love us.
May God turn their hearts,
And if He doesn't turn their hearts
May He turn their ankles
So we'll know them by their limping.

           - - - -AN OLD GAELIC BLESSING

 IISAA CLASSIFIEDS

OPEN THE LINES
IISAA desires trusted servants to process incoming calls over tele-phone information line.  Easy to learn training manual provided.Call: JimmieT. (317) 545-9783

ADOLESAR
Needed-Qualified volunteers interested in establishing SAA  program for Indiana youth. Call: Civic Outrch 545-9783

HABLA O ESCRIBE ESPANOL?
Se necesitas voluntarios para praducir materias de re cobro de inglis al espanol para mas informacion llama.Bill S.,(317) 545-9783

DON’T THROW IT AWAY!
Prison outreach needs  used  recovery books or pamphlets for prisoners. Sex addiction, code-pendency, meditation, etc., de-sired.   Mike C. (317) 545-9783

PEN PALS
Volunteers needed to answer letters from those in prison. 1 yr. 12-step experience recovery re-quired.Cont:  Bob  L., (317) 545-9783

SHARE YOUR STORY
Would you like to share your story in the Check-In. Having trouble writing it down?  Let me help.Contact Bill D. at (317)545-9783.

FIESTA GRANDE
Volunteers wanted to maintain SAA booth at Hispanic Festival Health Fair in Sept., 1998.  Speak Spanish a plus. Cont: (317) 545-9783 or iisaa@noldo.pair.com

"WE CAME TO YOU IN PRISON"
Trusted servants with love wanted to spend time with recovering addicts behind bars.  Time in program and background check required. Mike C. (317) 545-9783.

WORKSHOP HELP
Spring workshop would like your help.  Need setup, cleanup, cleri-cal, food preparation and other miscellaneous services.  Contact Bill S. (317) 545-9783.

ARCHIVIST NEEDED
IISAA is looking for volunteers to collect and file historical records and documents relating to Indiana SAA recovery.Contact: Bill S. (317) 545-9783

TELL IT!
We want to hear your story!  Vol-unteer to personally share your recovery.  Join the Speakers’ Bureau.   Ken S. (317) 545-9783

READ YOUR WAY TO HEALTH
Need a GOOD recovery book?  Order from Hazelden, get UP TO 50% off the catalog price.  Con-tact Don S. (317) 545-9783

BEGINNERS’ PACKET READY FOR USE

If you do not have your supply of IISAA’s new and improved beginners’ packets, do so soon.  They contain information es-sential to any newcomer’s education about sexual addiction and a recovery program.  An Overview insert and Recovery Resources insert are just a few of the important pieces of in-formation available.  They  are free of charge and are obtained by having your group’s representative pick them up at the next Intergroup meeting or call this newsletter on how to get your stash.

INDIANA WEB NEWS

After a few months of inactivity on the Web site, the Web Committee announced it will be "cleaning up" the site and making room for the Indiana Check.  According to Bill D., Committee Chair, the text of the newsletter will be available to those interested enough to log on.

CHECK OUT THE WEB

Patrick Carnes @ www.sexhelp.com/events.cfm.
CoSA @ www.onyx-web.com/cosami/addict.html.
SA @ www.jps.net/Sunflake/Sex-Love.htm.
NSO CoSA @ www2.shore.net/~cosa/.
SAA @ www.saa-recovery.org
SLAA @ www.jps.net/sacslaa
SA @ www.sa.org
SCA @ www.sca-recovery.org
RCA @ www.rcawso@aol.com

MICHIGAN COSA/SAA RETREAT

A  Spring retreat entitled "Serenity Prayer (Realize the Things I Cannot Change. . .Change the Things I Can)" is set for March 19,20, 21, 1999  at the Colombiere Center in Clarkston MI..  A deposit by December 1, 1998 is required.  For more information you may call Ila D. at 517-624-9893.

J U S T   A   T H O U G H T
-------------------------------------------
I am free of prejudice.  I hate everyone equally."
      --- W. C. Fields
--------------------------------------
"Hate is as all-absorbing as love, as irrational, and in its own way as satisfying.  As lovers thrive on the presence of the beloved, haters revel in encounters with the one they hate.  They confirm him in all their darkest suspicions.  They add fuel to all his most burning animosities.  The major difference between hating and loving is perhaps that whereas to love somebody is to be fulfilled and enriched by the experience, to hate somebody is to be diminished and drained by it.  Lovers, by losing themselves in their loving, find themselves, become themselves.  Haters simply lose themselves.  Theirs is the ultimately consuming passion."
---Frederick Buechner, Whistling in the Dark

CALENDAR

IISAA 1998 Intergroup Meetings
November 14                              Canary Cafe,  Ft. Wayne & Alabama Sts.
December 5                                 Indianapolis, IN  (4 - 6 p.m.)
January 9

IISAA 7h Annual Holiday Celebration
December 12                              The Hermitage - Indianapolis

MEN’S CHRISTIAN RETREAT
January, 1999                             John XXIII Center, Hartford City, IN

MICHIGAN COSA/SAA RETREAT
March 19, 20 & 21, 1999          Colombiere Center, Clarkston MI

IISAA 4th Annual One-Day Workshop
May 1                                         Christ United Methodist Church - Indianapolis

 BOOK REVIEW

The Courage to Heal (A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse)
by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis

Of the dark secrets sex addicts carry with themselves, experiences with sexual abuse is the most shaming.  These authors offer a light of hope to those in sexual addiction who must deal with the this subject of dis-grace. The book offers straightforward and honest studies in how to break the shame cycle, love yourself, and move away from self-defeating behaviors.  How to gain self-esteem and intimacy are lovingly discussed.  Don’t be discouraged by the title though.  By changing a few pronouns here and there, this book becomes a valuable tool for men who also survived sexual abuse.

FILM REVIEW

FRANCES
Jessica Lange, Kim Stanley, Sam Shepard   (1982)

How destructive can dysfunctional relationships and addictions take people.  This films pulls no punches when telling the story of 1940’s actress, Frances Farmer. Her descent into self destructive alcoholism, rageaholism and codependency is starkly portrayed with no holds barred.  Watching this film is much like reading one of the leads from the Big Book, only it is in color with much more realism. There is a very real lesson to be learned from watching this film.  Powerful and sobering.

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Avoid the company of deluded people when you can. When you cannot, keep your own counsel.

--- Buddha's Little Instruction Book
      Jack Kornfield

The Indiana Check-In is a bimonthly publication of the IISAA. It provides the Check-In, free of charge, to Indiana SAA members and others upon request.  Send contributions or inquiries to:

Check- In
P.O. Bx 20834
Indpls., IN 46220
(317) 545-9783
or  e-mail
iisaa@noldo.pair.com